If you're reading this post, that probably means you've already acknowledged the importance of soft skills in your personal and/or professional life. The question that logically follows is: "Can those skills be developed, learned and mastered?"
I believe you've already concluded that the answer is a resounding Yes, because otherwise, this post - and in that sense, Saga Eterna itself - would not even exist.
6 ways to master soft skills
Depending on the skill you want to acquire and your preferred learning style, choose one (or more) of the following ways of learning:
- Listen to a(n) (online) lecture
A lecture about the skill you're interested in developing can help you learn some techniques that can help you develop the targeted skill and provide you with information about the skill on a deeper level, for example about the reasons we need the skill, examples of successful use of the skill, research that explored the skill and its conclusions and so on. That's why a lecture is always a good starting point on the journey of your success. Research confirms that lectures and workshops are effective ways of soft skill learning (Robles, 2012). Today's world is full of free resources, lectures included. You can learn a lot from these free lectures (provided they're by experts on the topic, of course), so take advantage of that!
- Podcast
Once you get an idea of what the skill you want to develop means and includes, you can try to find a podcast that talks about it. This is another way to find real-life examples of real-life people and their journey to skill mastery, including the techniques that were useful for them, as well as those that weren't and in which contexts and how they use that skill today. Storytelling and real-life examples have been proven successful in the processes of skill mastery and retention (Kivunja, 2015).
- Clubs, NGOs, groups
If you're a student who wants to acquire and develop your argumentation skills, join a debate team in your school or at university if it's possible. If you want to learn how to more thoroughly analyze books, join a Book club near you, etc. Sharing a goal with others can help us achieve it sooner. Again, we're stumbling across the idea that other people's experiences can help and speed up the learning process in various ways. You don't have to do it all on your own!
- Trainings and workshops
Both trainings and workshops are much more interactive teaching methods than lectures, allowing you an individualized approach and a chance to ask questions which is not a possibility at some (especially pre-recorded) lectures. Additionally, both these methods focus on practicing the newly acquired skill which increases the retention (remembering) of the content. Subsequently, this can also positively affect how often and how well we will use the newly acquired skill once we're out the door. Kolb's (1984) research found that experiential learning - which is the essential part of workshops and trainings - is an effective method of soft skill learning.
- Practice
Practice makes perfect progress.
Personally, I don't believe in "chasing" perfection.However, I still believe that practice is one of the most effective ways to develop skills. Be on the look-out for situations in which you can practice the skill you want to develop. To decrease your stress level while beginning to practice, I recommend to start with low-risk situations, for instance if you want to develop your feedback-giving skill, try out a method you learned about with a person who you know reacts well to disagreement and choose a topic that's low on your importance list, such as telling your partner that you don't like it when they leave the toothpaste open. As your skill-related confidence starts to grow, start to raise the stakes. Repeated practice and gradual exposure are key to skill development (Ericsson, Krampe, & Tesch-Römer, 1993).
- Take on a leadership role
According to Goleman (1998), leadership experience is highly correlated to the development of a wide range of soft skills. Some of the skills you can develop in your leadership role are delegating, time and project management, communication skills, conflict resolution and many others. As mentioned in the previous example, here you can also start slowly - for example take the lead role on a group project for your school/university/work, become a representative of your class in the Student Council at university, show interest to your coach to train younger teams in your sport or to organize a team-building for your colleagues at work or your teammates from sports practice. If you try to find them, you'll se that the opportunities to lead are all around you.
Which soft skills can I learn using these methods?
In short, nearly all of them. Even though many people might tell you that "people don't change" or that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks", most psychologists would beg to differ. You see, our brains are plastic. Now what does that even mean? The first time I heard this term, to me it sounded as if that meant the brain is solid and incapable of changing. However, this term actually means the exact opposite. Basically, we are capable to learn and change as long as we're alive (Doidge, 2007). Or as long as we want to.
So if you think that a certain soft skill can help you advance at work or in sports, or could lead to increase in quality of your interpersonal relations in your private life, I definitely recommend to choose one or more of the above-mentioned methods and give yourself a chance to develop it and transform into an even better version of yourself.
What if...
Imagine a world in which every person possesses highly developed communication skills – where misunderstandings are rare, verbal conflicts never escalate, and everyone feels safe expressing their needs without fear of negative reactions from others. In such a world, relationships – whether personal, professional, or within the community – would be built on trust, empathy, and mutual respect. Collaboration would flourish, stress and anxiety would decrease, and people would feel connected and supported in their everyday lives.
When individuals are equipped with strong soft skills such as active listening, empathy, conflict resolution, and assertiveness, they cope better with challenges, build more meaningful relationships and create a positive environment around themselves (Kivunja, 2015). Research consistently shows that developing these skills leads to greater job satisfaction, improvements in mental health and stronger social relationships (Crosbie, 2005).
Every soft skills training is a step closer to that ideal world. By choosing to develop your own abilities, you are not only improving the quality of your own life, but also contributing to a more harmonious and productive society (Ericsson, Krampe, & Tesch-Römer, 1993). Imagine that butterfly effect: as you become more skilled in communication and understanding, you inspire others to do the same, gradually changing your environment for the better.
Are you ready to take that step – to change yourself in order to change the world? The journey begins with a single decision to grow, and every bit of your effort brings us closer to a world where everyone can thrive.
Let's write the saga of your success together!
Resources
Crosbie, R. (2005). Learning the soft skills of leadership. Industrial and Commercial Training, 37(1), 45-51.
Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. Viking.
Ericsson, K. A., Krampe, R. T., & Tesch-Römer, C. (1993). The role of deliberate practice in the acquisition of expert performance. Psychological Review, 100(3), 363–406.
Goleman, D. (1998). Working with Emotional Intelligence. Bantam Books.
Kivunja, C. (2015). Teaching students to learn and to work well with 21st century skills. International Journal of Higher Education, 4(1), 1-21.
Kolb, D. A. (1984). Experiential Learning: Experience as the Source of Learning and Development. Prentice Hall.
Robles, M. M. (2012). Executive perceptions of the top 10 soft skills needed in today’s workplace. Business Communication Quarterly, 75(4), 453-465.